year 3
my attachment ended bout 2 weeks ago.. which also marks the end of acadamic year 3. year 3 was one hell of a roller coaster ride for me. i've always set aside the year to let loose, take a 1 year break away from the country and just enjoy myself, maybe even to find myself.
things didn't really transpired the way i envisioned it to be. true i still went on the trip to canada, but with all the different feelings and emotions. i was actually sad to leave then... the feeling of leaving a loved one behind is really not a good feeling.
then came the ia period .. it was a time of change and adaptaion. it was a time of learning to live with and to live without. overall, the 6 mths went pass quite strangely, as if everything was unreal. but then the period too came to pass
strange, that the year i told myself to take the time off, i found myself lost in the things that i wanted to escape from in the first place. the emotions i was trying to escape had a stranglehold on me.
and now, a new acadamic year is going to begin.. how will it go by? the future is uncertain, i know i'll be pretty caught up in my final year project, probably that'll distract me for awhile. but then again overall i think it'll shape up to be a pretty good one. im optimistic about it, for there's no other way to go thru it.
a final message to her (hope she still reads this blog though): i think i've acted like a stubongz for a long time now. and i guess its time to finally let go, for the good of both of us. i don't want to strain the r/s with all this pressure.. hopefully you'll forgive me for the times i've acted immmaturely and pulled the emo stunt on you. i guess we'll be alrite in time to come, i truly treasure your frenship and hope you think likewise ... still miss you, but it'll do for now.
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napkin man
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12:27 am
where's has all the love gone??
seems like a season of pain and hurt .. been reading some blogs, talking to some ppl, and the situation is grey (gray??).old hurts re-surfaced to haunt ppl, new ones appear to affect ppl with no apparent connections. everybody is just snatching watever they can find in a bid to defend themselves. somebody else's problem is a good weapon to defend your own inadequacies.
where's has all the love gone? must 2 ppl remain strangers till the hurt subside?? the pain is evident and the remedy cannot be found. what do we have to do to rid ourselves of this cycle of hurt and deceit, of pain and disappointment.
to those who get on fine now, when is it till the next time you get brought down?? when will your season of pain and hurt arrive? will it ever at all? we all hope not to, but we've all been there and we never want to go there again. where's has all the love gone??
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napkin man
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1:59 am
with or without you
for the longest time, i really don't understand this song. i mean its like abit contradicting right?? how can you not be able to live, with or without a person?? but now i am beginning to understand how this is possible.
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napkin man
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3:05 am
bye bye beautiful
and i will think of all the things that i have done, write them in a letter that says goodbye.
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napkin man
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2:11 am
i need a hobby
man.. playing full tilt (online poker) the whole day really made me feel like tilting... gnek!
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napkin man
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2:21 am
LTC clit
CO SIR!!
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napkin man
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10:01 pm
guess who's back??
pop the champagne and chill the beer, cos my bro indie boy's back!! finally, napkin man can once again team up with his trusty independent sidekick for the war against social retardedness... i'll drink to that!!
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napkin man
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1:13 pm
the light and the glass
Slowly the pen touches paper in the guidance of the words that you write.
Memories roll in; of the things you once did
and who you had shared them with. Is somebody thinking of you?
Did I bother telling you this, with the words that cross teeth and jump lips?
A poor choice of words, in wanting to tell you anything.
But words don't come with ease. They're forever my hurt.
Would it really matter, if you were to count the days left with your hands?
Your focus secure and the loves you left; well
smiles staged in photographs here until...
- coheed and cambria
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napkin man
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12:30 am
i want to know
why happy hour is not just an hour??
why i don't feel happy during happy hour??
why the opposite of inhale is not outhale??
why they call it a milo godzilla, but there's no giant monster in the cup??
why the uncle gave adrian a tissue prata when he wanted tissue??
why a lacoste from thailand feels different from the original lacoste??
why there's a ladies nite but no gentlemen nite??
why my finger cut wound smells like beer??
why the pasta at breko taste terrible sometimes, but yet so lovely at others??
was the mango that dented adrian's car juicy?? (edited)
why am i sitting here during office hours typing so many questions??
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napkin man
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11:31 am
new hair
got my hair cut! im such a himbo ...
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napkin man
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12:58 am
all these things that i have done
means nothing now ...
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napkin man
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10:58 pm
my cut wound
before i continue, u absolutely must know how i cut myself.. so after cell, we needed to return the key to some box lar.. its like those letter box looking kindda box.. and yuen being the stubongz that he is, insisted that he could throw the key into the slit.. but i had to hold open the flap.. so the 3rd time he threw it, somehow hit my hand, and my instinct was to catch the key.. but in that quick 1 nano seconds, my finger got cut. so basically i got cut becoz of man's stubongzness.. n im prolly a stubong to have went along with it..
but how i got cut is not the main issue.. that story was just to gain a few sympathy votes.. its what happening to it that amuses me.. you see, i've just taken out the plaster just now.. n ok i have a gross habit of smelling my wounds, cos i like the smell of blood.. but to my amusement when i put it near my nose, my wound actually smells like beer!! ok i din dip my finger in beer if u think im a stubongz (not that this post is very intellectual aniwei).. so yeah i was just wondering have i drank so much beer that its actually just going all around my body now?? hmmm i'd love to drink my own blood if that was the case...
and im still waiting for someone to turn my taps at home into beer taps.
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napkin man
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10:16 am
